Well, most everything is a favorite when it comes to Micah...not because he's a perfect little person, but because his life is God's perfect plan. Even the difficult things are God's provision.
Something I've noticed lately that continues to melt my heart over and over...something that confirms, yes, we will do this again...is how Micah is blossoming as a son...having a mommy. Not having just a care-giver, but his very own mother -- to which he is her very own son. He's been home two and a half months, and most days he's just trying to figure it all out...yet his pondering is paying off.
He knows. I am his...
He has put the pieces together...
I am here in the morning-
I am here in the evening-
I am here at lunch time-
I am here at bath time-
I am with him at the store-
I am with him at church-
When I go, he goes...when I stay, he stays...
He has the freedom to be held whenever he wants, for as long he wants. I often catch him peeking over his shoulder when playing on the floor...he's looking for me. Not that he's afraid I've left, but because he knows I am his...my smiles, my laughs, my silly songs, my kisses...
Yes, I know this will not always be the case...I will eventually have to leave him in child-care at church...enroll him in school...re-invest in my adult friendships...get away with my hubby...
And, when we do adopt again, it will look different for our next child -- not for better or worse, but for more. Our next child will not only have his/her own mommy and daddy, but also their very own big brother.
Glory to God for the great things He has done!
6.09.2009
6.08.2009
UGH...just have to laugh!!
...of all the things I've prayed for God to protect Micah from, poison ivy/oak/sumac was NOT on the list.
We took Micah to the lake on Saturday...we didn't take him on the boat, but just hung around outside our friend's lake house. I either held, had him in his jogger, or sat with him on a towel...no big deal, right?? Well, I noticed two bumps on him Saturday night -- I was certain one was from a mosquito, and assumed the other was a bug bite as well.
But, by Sunday afternoon the second bump had turned into a small cluster of blisters. An identical bump appeared on his hand. I wasn't alarmed initially...I've never had a reaction to poison-this-and-that, but Vince is very allergic -- so he recognized the blisters immediately.
I hopped on the internet to do some 'mommy research', and sure enough it's poison-something. I did read that it's very uncommon for infants to react to poison plants...children usually become sensitive by age 2-4, with sensitivity peaking around 12-14 years.
I am certain that Micah did not have direct contact with a poison plant...so, if he's had an allergic reaction as and infant, without direct contact, I'm assuming he's going to be VERY allergic to the stupid stuff??? I had to mummy-wrapped the blister on his hand, since loves to rub his eyes when he's sleepy...
Sooooo disappointing for our little lass...playing in the woods is such part of boyhood initiation. Not to mention hunting with daddy. Ugh!!
Vince spoke with a friend last night (M.D. and father to an Ethiopian son) about the bumps -- he said we should use a small amount of hydro-cortisone on the bumps and cover with them band-aides. However, he did warn us that that hydro-cortisone cream could lighten Micah's skin where applied (it often has that affect on people with darker pigmented skin)...good to know...but, one more head-ache!!
On a positive note, Micah doesn't act like the bumps are itchy -- I think the band-aides are more of a nuisance than the blisters.
We took Micah to the lake on Saturday...we didn't take him on the boat, but just hung around outside our friend's lake house. I either held, had him in his jogger, or sat with him on a towel...no big deal, right?? Well, I noticed two bumps on him Saturday night -- I was certain one was from a mosquito, and assumed the other was a bug bite as well.
But, by Sunday afternoon the second bump had turned into a small cluster of blisters. An identical bump appeared on his hand. I wasn't alarmed initially...I've never had a reaction to poison-this-and-that, but Vince is very allergic -- so he recognized the blisters immediately.
I hopped on the internet to do some 'mommy research', and sure enough it's poison-something. I did read that it's very uncommon for infants to react to poison plants...children usually become sensitive by age 2-4, with sensitivity peaking around 12-14 years.
I am certain that Micah did not have direct contact with a poison plant...so, if he's had an allergic reaction as and infant, without direct contact, I'm assuming he's going to be VERY allergic to the stupid stuff??? I had to mummy-wrapped the blister on his hand, since loves to rub his eyes when he's sleepy...
Sooooo disappointing for our little lass...playing in the woods is such part of boyhood initiation. Not to mention hunting with daddy. Ugh!!
Vince spoke with a friend last night (M.D. and father to an Ethiopian son) about the bumps -- he said we should use a small amount of hydro-cortisone on the bumps and cover with them band-aides. However, he did warn us that that hydro-cortisone cream could lighten Micah's skin where applied (it often has that affect on people with darker pigmented skin)...good to know...but, one more head-ache!!
On a positive note, Micah doesn't act like the bumps are itchy -- I think the band-aides are more of a nuisance than the blisters.
6.02.2009
First trip to the Library!
We sang & danced with Farmer Jason at the Hoover Library this morning...Micah LOVED it! He wiggled & squealed the whole time! I wasn't sure how he'd respond, but he was totally engaged!
6.01.2009
just an observation
This just is just an observation that I've made lately...so take it for what it's worth. Trans-racial adoptions have many complexities -- and this is one of them.
Before Vince and I returned home with Micah -- actually, before we even submitted our application to adopt from Ethiopia, we frequently discussed how outsiders might perceive our family -- both white and black people. Living in the deep-south we expected some resistance to our trans-racial family, but we just weren't sure what that resistance would look like. The sad reality is, in the US skin color has been at the root of many problems for many years...long before Micah was born...long before I was born. (So please understand I do not share this observation flippantly.)
No, I did not expect the African-American community to do black-flips because a Caucasian couple adopted an Ethiopian child, BUT, I did not expect the coldness either. I'm not completely sure how to process the blank stares and looks of contempt. Sometimes it's the lack of eye-contact that is most noticeable...I don't think we'd earn a glance even if we were standing next to Jesus.
Part of me wants to share our story with these strangers, but then part of me wants to simply glare back. Most often I just look away...at a loss to initiate some type of connection. I'm not sure if the image of our family elicits insult -- i.e. you can't get it right, so we're going to do it for you??? NOTE: our goal in parenting an African child is not so we can make him white!!!! People with light skin are equally as screwed up as people with darker skin!! What's even more complex about the situation is that Micah is not even African-American...he's Ethiopian. Kind of like, though I have light skin I still have NOTHING in common with someone from Eastern Europe...other than skin color. (An African-American friend pointed this out to us...his culture is completely different from the Ethiopian culture.) So, to be nit-picky about it, Micah is Ethiopian-American, not African-American -- we will raise him according to this Ethiopian heritage. But, I digress...
On the other hand, white folks have their own unique reaction to us...which, interestingly enough, I often find insulting. Comments like, "Oh, he's much better off now..." Really? Why? Because we're white Americans?? I kind of understand their thinking: access to better health care and education are definitely benefits. But, those opportunities are not the end-all-be-all --- they don't necessarily out-purpose the opportunity to remain in one's home land with one's birth family. Micah has not been adopted into our family because America is superior or more resourced, but because God works all things (in Micah's case, all things being some very sad circumstances) together for good (my paraphrase, Rom 8:28).
So, I have been trying to view our family through the eyes of strangers. What would be my knee-jerk reaction be if I encountered an African-American family with Caucasian children? Would I do a double-take? Probably. But, would I experience anger toward that family? Oh, I pray not!! What look do other trans-racial families read on my face?
This is the attitude I strive for, even while being misunderstood by suspicious on-lookers:
Ga 3:28 There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.
Col 3:11 Here there is not Greek and Jew, circumcised and uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave, free; but Christ is all, and in all.
...again, just thought-processing in hope of greater understanding...
UPDATE: SHORTLY AFTER WRITING THIS POST, MICAH & I VENTURED OUT TO TARGET WHERE WE WERE TREATED VERY KINDLY BY TWO (YOUNG-20S) AFRICAN AMERICAN GIRLS...MAYBE THE VIBE I'M CATCHING HERE & THERE IS JUST A GENERATIONAL THING...
Before Vince and I returned home with Micah -- actually, before we even submitted our application to adopt from Ethiopia, we frequently discussed how outsiders might perceive our family -- both white and black people. Living in the deep-south we expected some resistance to our trans-racial family, but we just weren't sure what that resistance would look like. The sad reality is, in the US skin color has been at the root of many problems for many years...long before Micah was born...long before I was born. (So please understand I do not share this observation flippantly.)
No, I did not expect the African-American community to do black-flips because a Caucasian couple adopted an Ethiopian child, BUT, I did not expect the coldness either. I'm not completely sure how to process the blank stares and looks of contempt. Sometimes it's the lack of eye-contact that is most noticeable...I don't think we'd earn a glance even if we were standing next to Jesus.
Part of me wants to share our story with these strangers, but then part of me wants to simply glare back. Most often I just look away...at a loss to initiate some type of connection. I'm not sure if the image of our family elicits insult -- i.e. you can't get it right, so we're going to do it for you??? NOTE: our goal in parenting an African child is not so we can make him white!!!! People with light skin are equally as screwed up as people with darker skin!! What's even more complex about the situation is that Micah is not even African-American...he's Ethiopian. Kind of like, though I have light skin I still have NOTHING in common with someone from Eastern Europe...other than skin color. (An African-American friend pointed this out to us...his culture is completely different from the Ethiopian culture.) So, to be nit-picky about it, Micah is Ethiopian-American, not African-American -- we will raise him according to this Ethiopian heritage. But, I digress...
On the other hand, white folks have their own unique reaction to us...which, interestingly enough, I often find insulting. Comments like, "Oh, he's much better off now..." Really? Why? Because we're white Americans?? I kind of understand their thinking: access to better health care and education are definitely benefits. But, those opportunities are not the end-all-be-all --- they don't necessarily out-purpose the opportunity to remain in one's home land with one's birth family. Micah has not been adopted into our family because America is superior or more resourced, but because God works all things (in Micah's case, all things being some very sad circumstances) together for good (my paraphrase, Rom 8:28).
So, I have been trying to view our family through the eyes of strangers. What would be my knee-jerk reaction be if I encountered an African-American family with Caucasian children? Would I do a double-take? Probably. But, would I experience anger toward that family? Oh, I pray not!! What look do other trans-racial families read on my face?
This is the attitude I strive for, even while being misunderstood by suspicious on-lookers:
Ga 3:28 There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.
Col 3:11 Here there is not Greek and Jew, circumcised and uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave, free; but Christ is all, and in all.
...again, just thought-processing in hope of greater understanding...
UPDATE: SHORTLY AFTER WRITING THIS POST, MICAH & I VENTURED OUT TO TARGET WHERE WE WERE TREATED VERY KINDLY BY TWO (YOUNG-20S) AFRICAN AMERICAN GIRLS...MAYBE THE VIBE I'M CATCHING HERE & THERE IS JUST A GENERATIONAL THING...
5.28.2009
life with MICAH
We've been home two-plus months with Micah...how am I doing??? Hmmm...not sure...
We love our son -- we love being parents!!! I was very nervous that I might (selfishly) grieve the loss of my life without a child, but that has not been the case at all. Micah's weaving into the DNA of our family has been a much more natural transition than I anticipated. I've really not even thought much of our life before him. I am thankful for that!
One thing I was not prepared for was how tired I would be...all the time. I consider myself to be fit and healthy, so I really never expected to miss a beat physically -- but what I didn't consider was the mental exhaustion. I think most of my exhaustion comes from my introvert-personality. I'm a pretty quite person (too quite for my hubby)...more of a thinker. Now I feel like I've returned to teaching school...talking, singing non-stop...being verbal around the clock. Whew!!
Some of my other deficiencies (for lack of better word) I think stem from being a first-time mommy. I often find myself wondering if Micah's various behaviors are adoption-related, or just baby stuff...when to cuddle, or, when to cry it out?? For the most part, I've leaned to the side of cuddling, but I sense we're all ready to move beyond that in some areas. But it's still hard to tell...
Micah will be 10-months old on 6/4. He's sitting/balancing very well, but shows NO interest in pulling up or crawling. He loves his jumper, so his legs are getting stronger -- he can stand briefly while holding on to something. However, when I put him in a crawl position he screams -- he has no idea what do to. Sometimes that worries me. I know many children skip crawling all together, but I'd really like to see him develop that skill to promote his mental development.
I also find myself wondering what to do with him. I guess he's at an in-between age where he's not really interested in books or educational videos...or even playing with toys (blocks, cars, etc). Well, I guess he does have an interest in toys - just not able to preform some of their functions. He does like to interact-- he's a social, happy little guy. I still feel like I need to play with him around the clock to stimulate his brain -- I know I've got precious little time to get all his synapses firing?? But, is he at the just hold him age?? Help??
Maybe my expectations are too high?? Maybe more repetition is the key??
All you mommies out there...I would LOVE your advice/suggestions!!
We love our son -- we love being parents!!! I was very nervous that I might (selfishly) grieve the loss of my life without a child, but that has not been the case at all. Micah's weaving into the DNA of our family has been a much more natural transition than I anticipated. I've really not even thought much of our life before him. I am thankful for that!
One thing I was not prepared for was how tired I would be...all the time. I consider myself to be fit and healthy, so I really never expected to miss a beat physically -- but what I didn't consider was the mental exhaustion. I think most of my exhaustion comes from my introvert-personality. I'm a pretty quite person (too quite for my hubby)...more of a thinker. Now I feel like I've returned to teaching school...talking, singing non-stop...being verbal around the clock. Whew!!
Some of my other deficiencies (for lack of better word) I think stem from being a first-time mommy. I often find myself wondering if Micah's various behaviors are adoption-related, or just baby stuff...when to cuddle, or, when to cry it out?? For the most part, I've leaned to the side of cuddling, but I sense we're all ready to move beyond that in some areas. But it's still hard to tell...
Micah will be 10-months old on 6/4. He's sitting/balancing very well, but shows NO interest in pulling up or crawling. He loves his jumper, so his legs are getting stronger -- he can stand briefly while holding on to something. However, when I put him in a crawl position he screams -- he has no idea what do to. Sometimes that worries me. I know many children skip crawling all together, but I'd really like to see him develop that skill to promote his mental development.
I also find myself wondering what to do with him. I guess he's at an in-between age where he's not really interested in books or educational videos...or even playing with toys (blocks, cars, etc). Well, I guess he does have an interest in toys - just not able to preform some of their functions. He does like to interact-- he's a social, happy little guy. I still feel like I need to play with him around the clock to stimulate his brain -- I know I've got precious little time to get all his synapses firing?? But, is he at the just hold him age?? Help??
Maybe my expectations are too high?? Maybe more repetition is the key??
All you mommies out there...I would LOVE your advice/suggestions!!
5.23.2009
2 months HOME
This was the morning after our 30+ hour flight from Ethiopia. Poor Micah!! Uncle Rodney worked hard to put his activity center together for him...but, not only did his feet not touch the ground, he couldn't hold his head up either.
Today, on the other hand, he's all but doing back-flips out of his seat!!
Way to go, Micah!!
5.22.2009
seven weeks, and still CELEBRATING
BIRMINGHAM, AL
A few of the minister's wives at HSBC where Vince (Minister to Singles) is on staff hosted a "Welcome Home" shower for Micah. It was a very special evening with our church family!!
Micah with his pastor!
Micah with daddy's boss!!
We love our church family (did I say that already??)...
Micah with his pastor!
Micah with daddy's boss!!
We love our church family (did I say that already??)...
CANTON, MS
We also took Micah on his first visit to Canton, MS (Vince's home-town) -- our sister-in-law and Vince's home church also hosted a shower for Micah!
My oh-so-talented talented sis-in-law, Alison, painted this wall hanging for Micah's room!
My oh-so-talented talented sis-in-law, Alison, painted this wall hanging for Micah's room!Love it!!
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