5.28.2008

Kind of blah....

...that's how I'm feeling today. Not for any reason in particular, I suppose...sometimes life just has the upper hand.

We've officially been waiting 10 months for our China referral and 3 months for our referral from Ethiopia. Sometimes (though, not very often) 'doom & gloom' sets in and I begin to wonder if any of this will ever happen.

Our adoption endeavor isn't just about growing our family, it's about wanting to meet a need. And I guess because of my mothering instinct the wait is all the more agonizing! But even now, I still rejoice because I know that the intense agony of waiting is developing within me an even greater capacity to truly meet the needs our children will have. My patience is being refined, my heart is being softened, my expectations are becoming more realistic, and I am certain that God is growing me in His wisdom & knowledge.

I can hardly believe that it was 2 years ago this months that we began researching adoption. The Lord is good - time has moved swiftly - and I am learning what Paul meant by 'desiring the greater gift.' The greatest gift of all is God's presence in my life, but a benefit of His presence is the ability to 'desire the greater gift' (1Cor 12:31)...and that greater gift for each of us is the gift that God has chosen specifically for us...for me, it is the very specific gift of children that God will place in our family through adoption. God has given me a love and passion for children that I do not know...yet...so I trust the best is yet to come.

“Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.
Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him and He will do this:
He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn,
the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.” Psalm 37:4-6

7 comments:

Preston and Courtney said...

We are sure praying for you both Vince and Alisa. We just wanted to let you know we haven't forgotten about you guys and the HUGE process you are in. We love you both so much and we can't wait for you to hold the desires of your hearts in your very own arms!!!
Love
P & C

The Gillman Family said...

Alisa,

The wait is hard but isn't amazing how the time goes by faster than we think. You will be rewarded for allowing God to do this work in you!

Blessings,
Kim

Rebecca said...

The best IS yet to come! Aren't you glad you haven't already had the best and it's all downhill from here :)

Waiting is so hard. I can't wait until you guys have a referral!

Greg & Laura said...

This journey is definitely an emotional rollercoaster. Everyday you're getting closer to seeing the sweet face of your little son or daughter. We're so excited for you guys - you're going to be awesome parents! Let's get together soon!
Love,
Laura

kristin said...

sending you a hug... feel better?

Zack & Rebecca Caldwell said...

I have blah days too sometimes! Hang in there, and cling to God and his wonderful word. It's the only thing that helped me make it through!

mrbjbb said...

Thank you for sharing your thoughts and reflections! You're such an elegant writer! We all have these moments (days?) of doom and gloom.
*hugs*
Missy

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